Drug Testing at Work
Copyright 1996, 1998: Beverly Potter & Sebastian Orfali
In this segment we're going to tell you how you how you can try to clean up your act from the inside out so your test stands a better chance of coming out clean. And in case you think your chances of a clean result are smaller than the odds of a Humboldt kind bud surviving a Dead show intact, we'll tell you how you how to tinker with your tinkle test by substituting, diluting, or contaminating your urine sample. We'll even tell you about containers you can use to sneak the substitute urine into the collection site and where to get them.
the best way to get a negative result from a drug test is to clean up
act beforehand. We're talking about that ol' devil abstinence, which in
this case includes precription drugs and over-the-counter meds, which
and often do create positive results. (This is called cross-reactivity,
and we'll explain it in a moment.) Maybe your drug test is tomorrow and
you don't have time to clean up in advance--if so, hang on. We'll have
some tricks and tips for you shortly.
we're going to tell you approximately how long you have to avoid
drugs before your drug test in order to come out clean. These time
are called "detection limits." But first there are a few things you
to know. First, detection limits vary greatly from person to person.
depend on a person's weight, fat level, metabolism, and the amount of
they have taken and for how long. Second, different authorities report
radically different detection times. For instance, some of the
times reported in Abbie Hoffman's book Steal This Urine Test are up to
eight times longer than those reported by Anaclinn-Roche Biomedical
Most of the detection times we're about to give you come from the
company, which is an authoritative source. But to be safe, you should
least double or triple theese time periods if you've used drugs and
to pass a drug test.
come the detection times: Amphetamines ("speed," diet pills,
2-4 days Barbiturates and Quaaludes 2-4 days Benzodiazepines
like valium, librium, Xanax, etc) up to 30 days Cocaine 12-72 hours Pot
light occasional use 2-7 days long term use one, sometimes two months
12-24 hours Heroin, methadone, opium, and other opiates 2-4 days PCP
occasional use 2-7 days long term, heavier use up to a month LSD
says 20-40 days
times tell you how long chemicals called "metabolites" can be
in your urine after you last used a certain drug . Metabolites
chemicals that your body, or your metabolism, makes out of other drugs.
Then your body excretes these chemicals in your urine (they can also be
found in sweat, saliva, mucus, and other bodily secretions, as well as
hair.) The problem is that your body sometimes makes the same
out of different drugs. That's why "cross-reactivity" happens,
over the counter or prescription drugs create positive test results for
Here are some of the over-the counter or prescription drugs that can create cross-reactivity with other, illegal drugs:
+ Ibuprofen, contained in Advil, Nuprin, and Mortin, can make a positive result for pot.
over the counter cold, asthma, and allergy remedies and diet pills such
as Diatec, Dexatrim, Cotylenol, Triaminic, Primatene, Bronkotabs, and
can show up as positive for amphetamines.
Formula-44, Demerol, Mydol, Primatene-M and common prescription
such as Elavil and Tofanil can show up as positive for opiates such as
opium and heroin.
can also show up as positive for barbiturates, and Benadryl can show up
positive for Methadone.
+ Some additional over the counter medicines to avoid include Alka-Seltzer plus, Allerest, Bronkaid, Contac, Donnagel, Sinuntab, and Sudafed.
your drug test, you can dramatically reduce the concentrations of
in your pee by "flushing your system," pushing as much liquid
your body as possible. Drink lots of water and other non-alcoholic
the night before and the morning of the test. Start even earlier if
the system will dilute your urine, and increase the chances that any
metabolites will go undetected, particularly on a less sophisticated
test like the EMIT test. So that your sample doesn't look overly clear
and watery, which could be taken as a sign that you've been flushing
system and therefore arouse suspicion, you might try taking large
of vitamin C for several days before the test. Vitamin C gives a deep
color to your urine.
first urination in the morning will contain the highest concentration
metabolites, so it's best to make sure that your sample is not the
pee of the day. Abbie Hoffman even suggests staying up all night before
the test so you can continue urinating and flushing the system, or at
getting up extra early.
diuretics, which increase your rate of urination, might also help
your system. Tea, coffee, and colas might be good things to drink
they contain caffeine, which is a mild diuretic. A doctor who is
to your cause might prescribe furosemide, a prescription diuretic
under the name Lasix. A HIGH TIMES article recommends taking 80
of Lasix and peeing two or three times before taking the sample.
people use other substances to help flush their systems, although
really no proof that these work. You might call these "folk remedies"
flushing system, and they include cranberry juice, vinegar, Aspirin,
an herb called Golden Seal. A similarly questionable aid to flushing
system is a tea called test PURE. They can be reached at 1.800.678.9117
or 916.557.6099. Or try the High Times Hotline. It may cost $1.95 (or
a minute, but it's informative: 1.900.988.8463 (18 and over only;
#1) These techniques for flushing the system might not help, but they
won't hurt either.
are a few more things you can do that might help you flush your system.
speeds up your metabolism, so it makes sense that a daily workout of
choice starting several days before might help you clean out faster.
up a good sweat helps because metabolites and other substances are
through sweat. But don't exercise in the 24 hours directly before
test, because exercise releases metabolites stored in your fat
into the blood stream, so exercise just before the test could actually
increase the concentrations of metabolites in your urine. You might try
taking large amounts of antoxidants, substances that help your body get
rid of waste matter in your cells. Common antoxidants include vitamins
A, C, & E.
people try to switch their urine sample with another one from someone
that they think is clean. This is called the "substitution"
and is definitely a high-risk ploy which can become technically quite
depending on how closely you are going to be checked out at the
of the problems with substitution is that it's really hard to guarantee
that anybody else's pee is going to be clean. For instance, one
man who occasionally smoked pot on the weekend substituted with a urine
sample taken from one of his kids--which ended up testing positive for
coke! And whatever you do, don't try faking urine by adding food
to plain water, a ploy which testing labs can easily detect. Labs are
hip to substitutions of urine from animals--and besides, how do you
your pets haven't been getting stoned when you aren't around?
you're determined to try substitution you might try ordering "Urine
They claim that adding a vial their potion to your pee will allow you
"never fear a future urine analysis." again. Their number is
you're going to try substitution you'll need some kind of special,
that you can use to sneak your substitute sample into the collection
This isn't as easy as it sounds. Usually some kind of hidden plastic
or pouch taped to the body is used; at least this is less likely to be
detected than a jar. A procedure described by Abbie Hoffman uses a
non-lubricated condom taped near the crotch which can be broken with a
pre-sharpened fingernail when it comes time to give the sample. Hoffman
suggests filling one condom and then putting a second one over it to
and hospital supply stores sell other items that can be used as
for substitute urine. Bard Dispoz-a-Bag Drainage bags, used by ambulant
patients, are cheap and come in different sizes. You can buy
pants" to help hold the bag in place around the middle of your body,
even add a short piece of rubber tubing and a valve for easy filling.
describes using a large leg bag with the air squeezed out of it. This
be less conspicuous because you can fit a decent-sized urine sample in
it but still flatten it out around the middle of your body so it
create a funny-looking bulge.
the substitute urine can't be more than 18 hours old, because otherwise
it will undergo a deterioration that will be obvious to workers at the
lab. It also should be kept warm so that it simulates a fresh urine
Some testing procedures require the collector to take the temperature
the sample at the site. The best way is probably to keep the bag or
close to your body, where body heat will keep it at about the right
strategy for beating a drug test is to add a substance to your sample
will screw up the test. This strategy is called "contamination." For
example, a little bit of table salt will foil an EMIT test, the
kind commonly used for random sampling and mass screenings. But it
work for a TLC test, and, especially if the test is not a mass
or random sampling, it's fairly likely that the samples will be tested
for PH balance. If enough salt has been added, the PH balance will show
up outside the normal range for urine--which could get you into a lot
problem with adding salt to your sample is that it's hard to make sure
that the salt is abolutely, totally dissolved. Otherwise it will be
detected. Getting the salt into the site can also be difficult.
it in your hand or under your fingernail won't work if you are required
to wash you hands before giving the sample, as is the case with all
employees undergoing drug testing. And employees carrying salt to
sites in purses and pockets have been cuaght and fired. Apparently salt
is one white powder you can get busted for even though it's not a
contaminants besides salt that might work are two tablespoons of bleach
or a capful of ammonia. Obviously, the smell of ammonia is
to be a problem, and the blue dots in a lot of bleaches are a dead
For these reasons, it might be better to use hydrogen peroxide, which
smell and might actually work if you're lucky. Clinical Chemistry
says that two drops of liquid soap will do the trick for an EMIT test.
One university pharmacologist says that three or four drops of flesh
obtained by pricking your finger in the bathroom stall, will make the
test negative for pot--that is, if you haven't gotten stoned in the
6 or 8 hours!
tactic is to use an IV bag with saline solution in it, like the
kind used in hospitals. You can get one at mosts drug stores. You can
the bag under your arm, which will keep it warm, and run the tube down
to your crotch. Saline solution is undetectable, and this technique
that the salt in the sample is already totally dissolved.
strategy is to dilute the sample with water to reduce the
of drug metabolites to a less-than-detectable level. In a throughly
"dry room" of the kind you heard about if you pressed #1, the problem
finding the water, because the taps are shut off, the toilet water is
with dye, and sometimes even the reservoirs in the back of the toilets
are sealed off. But if you can get the water, make sure the sample does
contain some actual urine.
Again, if you're planning on trying to dilute your sample you might want to take a lot of vitamin B in the days before the test so that the sample still has a strong yellow color even though it's been diluted. And if you dip the container in the toilet bowl or reservoir, make sure you dry off any water from the outside of the cup because that's another give-away. Another problem with dilution is temperature. As we've already mentioned, it might be noticed if the sample is not near body temperature. Rubbing the outside of the container with your hands might help warm it up some, but not necessarily enough. And using the hot water spout, if you have access to one that works, might actually overheat the sample. A sample that feels tepid to the finger is probably close to the right temperature.
Adapted from Drug Testing at Work
Copyright 1989, 1996, 1998: by Beverly Potter & Sebastian Orfali. Published by Ronin Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 22900, Oakland, Ca 94609. All Rights Reserved. Individuals may download this material for personal use only. Written permission is required for any other reproduction. firstname.lastname@example.org, fax:510/420-3672.
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